Yes — people date after divorce. Some start during the divorce process, although that timing could carry some risk, especially if one spends marital income or property on or for the person they are dating.
During my practice as a divorce lawyer in Chicago and the suburbs, I have been lucky enough to see all types of relationships grow and thrive. When you are ready to date, there are a few things you ought to know from a legal perspective. However, each situation has had its own unique legal context. Yours does too, so please do not use any of this article as specific legal advice.
Illinois Law on Dating and Divorce
Prior to major revisions in Illinois’ laws in 2016, dating while married, if it rose to the level of adultery, was a ground for divorce. Presently, Illinois is a 100% no fault state, meaning adultery and other grounds for divorce have been eliminated.
Notwithstanding the change in the at-fault laws in Illinois, legally speaking, dating can still have implications. In addition to what I noted above, your choice of dating partners — and your habits — might come up during or after your divorce. For one example, a court could find your relationship with your dating partner constitutes cohabitation. Cohabitation occurs when you are living with one in a resident, continuing and conjugal relationship. If this occurs, ones right to maintenance (alimony) terminates, as provided for in Illinois law at 750 ILCS 5/510(c). What constitutes cohabitation is decided on a case-by-case basis and is not always intuitive. One should always seek legal guidance to determine if their right to receive maintenance is jeopardized by their dating situation or if you have the right to stop paying maintenance due to your ex-spouse’s cohabitation.
Children and New Partners
It is sometimes difficult to decide how to handle interactions between kids and new dating partners. Generally, it could be a good idea to wait until the relationship is relatively stable before making the introductions to your kids.
Children can form emotional bonds quickly, especially after divorce. Introducing them to people can be exciting, and it can feel validating to you and your date to have their approval. However, when relationships end, children can be just as affected as you are — with fewer tools to cope with the loss.
Of course, your co-parent could also want to date. To prevent either of you from causing emotional distress to the children, you may want to include specific terms in your parenting plan. For example, you might agree to wait six months before introducing a new partner to the kids.
When it comes to your kids, there are often both legal and non-legal considerations. For those non-legal ones, it is often wise to seek the assistance of a professional counselor.
Make Dating as Easy as Possible
Plenty of people date after divorce, but it is best to know the consequences beforehand. Please reach out today to schedule a consultation. Call me at (312) 621-5234 to discuss your dating concerns as they relate to the law, the ways custody agreements and parenting plans can include future partners and any other topic that concerns you about divorce.
