Enjoying Life After Divorce
No one is immune from the challenges of divorce. Experiencing the emotions that result from the breakdown of a marriage is no easy task – even in the best of situations. Hopefully – you are on the road to a better life.
The process of divorcing may be lengthy. It will likely feel more like a marathon than a sprint. Don’t wait for a divorce to be final before living your life the best way possible. Every day is precious – especially if you have children. You – and they – can never get this time back. Do your best to make it count and live well. Here is the first portion in my two part series of how to get started.
- Restart your social life. If you aren’t already one of the 5 billion people using social media to network – it’s time. It is a solid avenue to reconnecting with old friends and making new ones – and it is appropriate for all ages. Just keep the photos, posts and comments tasteful and you are fine.
- Thinking about restarting or recharging your professional life? Perhaps you have been out of the workforce or you need to think about career changes for the future. This is not necessarily the time for any major moves – but a good time to start networking. Reach out to former and current colleagues. Go through your contacts and get back in circulation. In today’s job climate – everyone is interested in networking. If you are not currently employed, order business cards printed with your name, cell and email account to hand out when reconnecting. Contact your college or graduate school and receive information about alumni events. Enroll in webinars to stay current in your field. Dust off the resume and make it look fresh.
- Don’t talk divorce. Have one friend – or even better – a therapist to discuss your divorce experience. People may listen for a week or two – but they have lives and problems too and can’t deal with yours on a regular basis. When asked how you are doing – have a positive response prepared. It may be difficult to say you are fine or great. Instead, you may wish to say, “I am on the right path.” Then move on. You are what you speak. Talking about your divorce will leave you feeling drained and can lead you away from your new goals. If you do want to meet someone new – no one will want to introduce you if all you can discuss is your divorce.
- Take some time to breathe every day. Find some time in the morning just to breathe – even if you can only take 10 minutes. The rewards will be worth getting up a little earlier. Take a walk. Water your plants. Sit on your front steps. Hit tennis balls against your garage. Whatever works for you. Make time for quiet reflection to set the tone for a calm (or at least calmer) day. There may be times that getting through the day is all you can accomplish. That’s okay. Don’t place too much pressure on yourself and try to recognize your strengths.
- Move. No, not to another country. Move your body. Yoga. Swim. Take the stairs. Dance. Walk during your lunch. Reduce your stress.
Start with the first five suggestions – see if they add some positivity to your life. Another five to come soon! Email me with other suggestions atmcraven@harrisonheld.com
