It’s time to go to court for your divorce litigation. It is common for you to feel nervous and emotional when dealing with divorce issues. Those feelings may be amplified when you have to attend court for your divorce case. Walking into a courtroom can feel like entering a foreign country. They have different customs and they speak a different language – legalese. The general population rarely has the opportunity or need to enter a courtroom. The exception may be an occasional traffic ticket. This is different. Decisions are being made about your family and your future. Certain rules of etiquette apply in the land of the divorce lawyers and you will have a better experience if you learn them. Some suggestions to make your first day in the courtroom feel more comfortable.
It is time for you to appear in court. How to dress? The legal world is still very conservative. You can make a statement on Jersey Shore or Keeping Up With The Kardashians – but not in court. It will not be well received.
What to wear? Be who you are – but the more conservative version. Simple clothing and business casual are good guides. Some general ideas – no jeans and stay away from clothes that are revealing, fancy, too casual or too formal. For men, a collared shirt and khaki pants are fine. Women – pants and sweater, dress or skirt and blouse. A suit is fine – especially if that is how you dress for work – but keep it simple. It is not the time to be a fashion icon or show your spouse how fabulous you look. Understandably, you may feel this is an opportunity to get dressed in your best outfit to make a good impression. You will likely be making the wrong impression. Your current financial situation may not be reflected in the outfit you are wearing or briefcase you are carrying. Although those items may have been purchased years before, or a special gift – dressing too successfully for court may not reflect your true situation and send the wrong message to the judge. The bottom line – you don’t want your appearance to be a distraction in any way. The goal is for the judge not to notice what you are wearing. In fact, if you find something that works – it is perfectly acceptable to make that your “uniform” for court. First, second and third impressions count in the courtroom during your divorce – make them good ones.
It’s not the time to update twitter or check emails: Keep all electronics tucked away. Turn your ringers off or turn off your cell phone completely. Cell phones and other mobile devices are not to be used in court. Even if your divorce attorney uses her/his cell, keep yours away – even for texting. Go into the hallway to make a call if necessary.
Sorry, no reading either: No newspapers or magazines are to be read in court. They are fine for a break but not while court is in session. It is considered disrespectful to the court. There is only one thing to do while you are in the courtroom. Listen – or pretend to be listening.
Can you speak? – Generally not. You have your divorce attorney to speak for you. If the judge directly addresses you – which will not happen often – or ever – you may answer. Otherwise the only time to talk in the courtroom is if you are testifying. A frustrating situation that can arise is when your divorce attorney is talking to the judge and you feel you need to convey information. You are not allowed to engage in the conversation at the bench. The judge will admonish you and it will probably distract your divorce attorney. The best strategy is to ask your family law attorney prior to the proceeding what is the best way to communicate with him/her while in the courtroom.
Stand up, sit down and stand up again: Keep your eyes on the judge. When the judge enters the courtroom – it is customary to stand up – when the judge leaves the courtroom – it is customary to stand up again. Some courtrooms are more relaxed than others – but it never hurts to follow the accepted practices and be polite.
Initially, the courtroom can be an intimidating arena. It may never be your favorite place to spend an afternoon – but learning the customs can make it a more comfortable place.
Michael C. Craven is a well-knowndivorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP. (Formerly of Beermann, now a Partner at Harrison LLP) located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael atmcraven@harrisonheld.comor atDivorce Lawyers Chicago
