This blog is a reprint from http://bit.ly/t9Xpv1 by Jackie Pilossoph.
Several years ago, when I first decided to consult a divorce attorney, I was referred to a woman by a friend. I went to see her for a consultation in her posh downtown office, and when I first laid eyes on her, I was intimidated beyond. She looked more like a supermodel and she had on this dress that was literally up to her mid-thigh. I tried really hard not to judge or draw any conclusions before getting to know her.
During our half hour meeting, however, things tumbled downhill. To put it bluntly, the woman was a huge biatch. Sorry, just being honest. I kept thinking to myself, “any judge would hate this woman! I would never win one motion if she was representing me!” She was very cocky and showed no compassion for my situation. I was fighting back tears the entire time.
I’m not saying a person’s divorce attorney should act like their therapist, but I do think the attorney has to have a likeable way about him or her, and have a human side. People going through a divorce are extremely vulnerable and as for myself, my self-assurance was about as low as it had ever been. So, if I can offer any advice to people going through a divorce, I’d tell them that when choosing an attorney, you seriously have to LOVE him or her, TRUST him or her and feel comfortable enough to tell them VERY personal things. I ended up getting a great attorney and was very happy with my decision, but that’s not what this blog is about.
I wanted to write about Michael Craven, who I recently met, who’s a divorce attorney with one of the best firms in the city. I asked Michael some questions that I thought might help people who are recently separated. Here’s what he said:
Why did you decide to specialize in divorce?
I actually wanted to be and was a tax attorney. After starting a firm a few years after graduating law school, we were getting some divorce cases. Since I had done an internship during law school for a legal clinic handling family law and domestic violence cases, coupled with the fact that my dad was an attorney who had knowledge of family law, I was selected as the go to person for divorce cases. Eventually, I started getting more and more cases and I liked the area. It was enjoyable and rewarding to work for people rather than companies. I also liked going to court, which was something I rarely did as a tax/corporate attorney.
Have you seen a lot of women in tears while going through the process? Tell me about that and how it makes you feel.
Truthfully, I see a lot of people, men and woman, in tears or on the verge of them. It is never easy seeing someone in pain. When I can actually help them understand the process and get them through it, they feel better and so do I.
What’s the best thing about your job?
Helping people getting through one of their most stressful and difficult times is very rewarding. After their divorce, many clients seek me out over the years just to run by various legal issues, both about and unrelated to their divorces. I like being able to become a trusted advisor for my past clients. Other benefits are that the job is never boring, every day is different and I work with many great people.
What’s the worst thing about your job?
Since clients are depending upon me to help them with very substantial decisions that affect the security of their lives, and often the lives of others such as their children, the rewards of my job come with a lot of stress.
What’s most important to you when it comes to your client?
Helping them make smart decisions, rather than getting distracted by things they cannot materially change and by emotions that are not productive.
What three tips do you have to give a woman who just got separated, in regards to legal advice?
- Educate yourself about the process. Although family and friends may have lots of advice and information, get your education from professionals who know what they are talking about and how it applies to your particular case.
- Keep your eye on the prize. Although that may mean different things for different people, try to make those smart decisions that promote a rational settlement rather than a fight for the sole purposes of a fight.
- Keep your children out of the case.
Although you asked for only 3, here is a 4th: Stay healthy by being active, being around positive people getting enough rest, and eating well.
Michael seems like a great guy and someone I’d trust to represent me or recommend to someone. He also has a blog that has lots of helpful information: https://www.divorcelawyerschicago.org/
So much time has passed since I got divorced, but I still call my divorce attorney and ask questions from time to time. He always takes my call and he even came to my first book signing!
To anyone who’s going through a divorce, hang in there. It’s a brutal time but you will get through it. For sure get a therapist, and surround yourself with lots of good friends and family. Work out a lot and focus on getting the life you want. Your NEW life. And…make sure you get the right attorney.
Jackie Pilossoph has a Masters Degree in Journalism. She’s the author of the novels Jackpot! and Hook, Line and Sink Him, and a freelance magazine writer and weekly columnist for The Glenview Announcements. Pilossoph is a single mother and lives in Chicago.
Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP. (Formerly of Beermann, now a Partner at Harrison LLP) located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mcraven@harrisonheld.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago
